A Conversation with one of My Monarch Exes
Dear Dione,
NOTE: I am writing this document as much for myself as I am for you. My hope to is anchor finally and clearly what my challenges have been from a clear and honest place. And to place on the table once and for all, the realities that I have been working to overcome in this process so that it is clear that I have not simply been trying to justify my own behavior. THERE IS NO EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION FOR MY BEHAVIOR. I am clear on that. In reality, I am doing the best I can to reconcile an insane situation in the most sane way that I can muster. I will concede that I should not have tried to justify anything. I should have simply stated all of my position, but who wants to believe this kind of a thing. I am certain that neither of us do.
Below are the sum total of the texts that brought us here.
Me:
Also here is the truth.
I am simply not convinced that you are not a part of the play.
I have tried to make that go away and fail in my promise to do so.
I am in love with you and I think you are aware of much more than you are sharing.
So if you are in the play, then not only did I not actually hurt you, but you were aware all or most of the time.
Maybe you are not but the evidence is overwhelming at this point.
You:
“I get it now. You purposely say triggery shit to spark my anger and then accuse me of picking a fight when I think I'm just tryin to process what you did to me. Then you say I am a part of the attack blaming me for what you did to me as your reasoning. And all the while lying still that you don't think I am, playing my most core being of trust and loyalty. Wow I just keep being a fool. I really wanted to support you but clearly you are too unhealthy and untrustworthy for me to do that.
I am moving on with my life. I'm done playing your sick games. You continue to lie about who I am and have been to ease your own lying cheating and abusive behavior. I don't want or need that in my spirit mind or body. I don't trust any words you say. Because still you've lied even after our last time together.
I will pray for you and that is all I will ever offer you again. You don't deserve any other part of me. You have only attempted to destroy me with your lies and abuse. May God have mercy on your wretched soul.”
For note: I will concede that I am wretched. But I don’t believe that I am any more or less wretched than most people.
First, let me say that I recognize and acknowledge your effort to support me and give a good faith effort in this process. In fact, that will be relevant in the information that I am sharing with you now. I also agree that you should move on with your life. If I mistaken, then I must acknowledge that the damage that has been done to my mind is such that I cannot, even with my best efforts, give you the relationship that you deserve, assuming that what I am about to layout isn’t true. The sad reality is that by your very own admission, if what I am about to lay out is true, then in reality, you could never tell me, and you would actually have to do everything in your power to make me think the opposite. In addition, you would already have several things going in your favor, including who and whatever is managing this process. That said, I want to begin with four quotes of your just to put in perspective the reality of the situation that I am dealing with here.
“If they are these people, they would never admit it.”
“I believe that you’re right about 99 percent of the people that you are assessing, I just don’t understand what makes you think that about me.”
Note: This quote comes from something that you had in the box of my mother’s stuff-”If you want to fool the world, tell the truth.” the document was dated from 2000 and all of the rest of the quotes were about love.
“Are you trying to throw a drama in front of a legitimate issue?”
I read your text this morning, and just to put it on the table Saline set me up, and then accused me of setting her up. Following that, she then acted like I shouldn’t suspect her of setting me up, even though a background check proves that she doesn’t even really exist. I want to cover Saline in more detail momentarily.
Here are the items I want to cover in this document.
On accountability, justification and healing.
G.A.O.T.U. and Freemasonry
On names, numbers and symbols.
On cheating, sex and agents.
On spiritual experience, indicators and other crazy things.
On the attack, your positioning and why people not forming a relationship with you is actually an argument for and not against.
On your leaving and how that came across/On picking fights.
On the Dictionary of Demons
There are probably more pieces to the equation than this, and I may veer to the right or left in any one of these places, but I will use this as a basis to outline why it has been difficult for me to let this possibility go. I will say that I do still love you, and I am still in love with you, and that like you I feel foolish possibly being guided by emotions when both my spiritual and intellectual compass point in a particular direction. That being said, I also agree that you should move on with your life, as should I, as that is the only healthy thing that either one of us can do at this point.
I am writing this document because I want to clarify that I am not playing any sick games, I am not attempting to justify any behavior, and I am not saying triggery things and then attempting to blame you for anything. In fact, I was just trying to go to sleep with you. I will acknowledge that could be triggery, but certainly I did not intend on triggering you in anyway at any point. Also, I have to acknowledge that I am working on my health, and that in working on that health I have my own triggers, and that you are also capable of pushing those triggers just as I am capable of pushing yours. You are not a total innocent here. Even if you are not a part of the play. Again, the evidence is overwhelming, as you will see. In this document, I attempting to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
On accountability, justification and healing.
I remember when Cheri Pace dipped on out the threesome conversation with Mary BJ. You took a position that in that case, she was not holding to her end of the accountability. We have already established that regardless of one person's actions, any given person is responsible for their own actions at any given point. So for instance, the night that we were both drunk, that you were justifiably angry for things that I did, and you were both threatening to kill yourself and curse me, and I was trying to bring you into the house so that you did not hurt yourself, to the neighbors, it came across as me putting my hands on you. Desi, up the street, talked about how he couldn’t co sign that stuff. I went to both the neighbors and Desi and took my accountability for those actions. You did no such thing.
When we first got together, and we were staying at WEAP, we had a drunken argument and that time you gave the impression that you were going to stab yourself. In retrospect, that was not the healthiest moment for either of us. I am not sure where things like this figure into the equation, or how it is that I end up with the sole possibility of being the only unhealthy person in the relationship, but the objectively reality is that there are plenty of things that have taken place in the relationship that it possible neither of us have taken responsibility for.
At this time, I am working to be clean. I am working to get to a healthier space, and it is clear to me that at least, from what I can tell, or what is being presented, you are doing the same. However, this is process. Everything is a process. You went to college and studied chemical dependency so I don’t understand how it could even be possible for you not to recognize that it is a process. When I look at the quote above, more than anger, it has the appearence, at least at the surface level of being a drama thrown in front an honest effort to reconcile a situation. I’m not saying that you don’t have the right to be angry at me. You absolutely do. I am saying that I also have the right to struggle with my own process. Last night, I came to the realization that we are at a near impossible impasse. One in which I agree that the only healthy thing for both of us is to move on with our life. I think sharing with you what I shared was the opposite of what you said on this phone which is this: Being honest about where I was in the moment was to risk the possibility of keeping of you.
I cannot emphasize enough, that my behavior in our relationship was despicable. As an addict and an alcoholic, I am a sick person. You will get no argument from me there. And, I am including links in this document to some of the articles that I was referring to. As the articles will indicate, if you have any interest in exploring this information, it is not a matter of justifying or minimizing my behavior. There is no justifying or minimizing my behavior. Taking the apple is taking the apple. And, there are also many people who have been through what we have been through and successfully overcome it. As we have done many times in the past to what I believe was some degree of success, I have simply been looking for some kind of guidance for how to approach the healing process because what you refer to as randomly processing “what I’ve done to you.” sometimes comes across as just being angry and picking fights. In this email, I am also including several documents, some of which I have used as a marker for trying to better understand how to best approach this process. And here is the thing: In trying to better understand this process, our approach to healing, quite honestly, began to make less and less sense. It was almost as if every time a hill was overcome, a new and different hill was placed in the way to overcome that.
Here are some of the articles that I am referring to. Again, these articles are not designed as a justification. Rather, they are people experienced in the field simply acknowledging that infidelity happens, and that through knowledge, understanding and sometimes a structured process, it can be overcome.
Having An Affair? There Are Six Different Kinds
Coping with Infidelity: Knowledge of Types of Affairs Gives Power
http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/coping-with-infidelity-types-affairs.htm
The Seven Types of Affairs
https://affairadvice.wordpress.com/2013/08/24/different-types-of-affairs-yes-it-matters/
Infidelity and Affairs: Myths and ways to respond
http://www.zurinstitute.com/infidelity_affairs.pdf
Seven Types of Infidelity Affairs
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/seven-types-infidelity-affairs-richard-loebl-lcsw-bcd
11 Different Types of Affairs
http://directory.infidelityrecoveryinstitute.com/11-different-types-of-affairs/
Mistakes Former Cheaters Make in Marital Recovery After an Affair
https://affairadvice.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/20-mistakes-former-cheaters-make-in-marital-recovery/
20 Most Common Mistakes of the Hurt Spouse
https://www.affairrecovery.com/20-most-common-mistakes-hurt-spouse
Here are some choice quotes from some of the articles:
As I mentioned in my last blog , you can now see how affairs come in all different shapes and sizes. Unless bothpartners agree to an open marriage, whether it be a one night stand or an affair, one is violating the respected marital vows when he/she chooses to go outside the boundaries of a marriage and disrespect one’s partner.
It is difficult to trust, forgive and recover from an affair without some type of counseling whether it’s with or without your partner. If you and/or your partner need help untangling an affair and moving forward I can help.
“By acknowledging that an affair means you're living a lie in some form, you have a greater chance to deal with the emotional and practical consequences of the affair in a healthier way. And there are plenty of consequences -- for yourself, your children, your existing relationship. But if you fool yourself about the reasons for your affair and what it may set in motion, you can squander irreplaceable years, trapped within illusions and rationalizations. When it all comes crashing down, loneliness and emptiness may be all that remains. That's why I advocate awareness at the outset: You can become more conscious of your actions, and use that awareness to deal maturely with their consequences. Or yes, you can remain unconscious...but then you still have to deal with the consequences!”
“Once the wounded spouse learns of these patterns, the complexity of the affair and the hidden agenda and motives for the cheating spouse – and other person as well – a flood of relief flows. The more one can make distinctions in a situation, the more refined those distinctions become, the less power that situation has to control the feelings and behavior of a person.
Knowledge is power because it now gives options.
The wounded spouse is not frozen in time. The wounded spouse is NOT helpless. The wounded spouse is not less than his/her cheating spouse or the other person. The wounded spouse can now stand back and at some level even appreciate the pain and disjointed striving, and inner hidden ambivalence of his/her spouse.
And the wounded spouse is now coping with infidelity in powerful ways, charting words and actions that disrupt this powerfully destructive pattern and give hope for resolution.”
Beating up the unfaithful mate with guilt, shame, or the opinions of others to keep them from leaving.
In all likelihood, regardless of whether they will admit it to you, your mate already feels guilt and shame over what they have done. Threatening to expose your mate will only increase the guilt and shame. It will not keep your mate home.
You have to take responsibility for your choices, no matter if your marriage was crap or not. You made the wrong choice. Accept it. At least for a while, be willing to be humble and take some lumps — you deserve them. Try and see yourself if you were in your Betrayed Spouse’s place.
Since the revelation of a betrayal is so traumatic, there is no room for defensiveness. You’re better off using two phrases: 1) “You’re right” (when they are right) and 2) “I deserve that” (even when they are wrong). Answering the “why” questions is tricky at best. Any explanation you give will be perceived as an excuse. The best answer for the why questions is to tell your mate you will do everything possible to search for the answer, but admit you don’t want to sound defensive while trying to answer a question you don’t necessarily know the answer to. Whatever you do, don’t be defensive!!
At this point, you might be saying, “I don’t want to take all the blame; my wife (or husband) made her (or his) own contributions to what has happened. We had issues in this relationship long before I had an affair.”
This is legitimate. Happy and content people rarely have affairs. Your spouse usually has some guilt in creating the situation in a marriage where an affair became an attractive option to you. And while that may be true, your first order of business needs to be the stabilization of the marriage. So at least initially, you must give your mate time to recover, and then begin to address the other issues in the marriage. You can insist on these things, but later. One of your first steps will be avoiding defensiveness when talking with your mate.
I do understand. I tried to tell her everything initially and was patient, but my patience wore thin the more she had meltdowns. I started to feel defensive. I started to act defensive. We were at the point where things could have derailed completely. But we talked about it. She understood why I felt defensive. My shame. My guilt. My embarrassment. Tired of the accusations. Tired of feeling like the bad guy. Talking about it helped. Telling her I was feeling defensive and why usually defused the situation.
I think these quotes help to illustrate a few different things. The first is that I cannot possibly be doing the work that I am doing and not recognize my own narcissistic, addictive and destructive patterns. I will rationalize and distort, and hopefully, with the right work and support I will work through that process. The second is that several people feel like making the distinction of what type of affair it was actually helps BOTH partners to figure out what steps are best. Now, it may be the case that after the full assessment of the situation, it becomes impossible to move on. That would be reasonable. More than anything, I am simply trying to illustrate that rather than minimizing or rationalizing my behavior, I was doing the best that I could to educate myself and find information that could be helpful or useful to both of us in making the distinctions necessary for us to move forward in the best possible way. The characterization that I was just trying rationalize, destroy or turn around a situation is not accurate, although I do completely understand where it comes from.
I would have been down for a counselor or bringing in someone to help us work through it. I even suggested that. You asked me at one point, “Where is my program?” but you had access to navos just as I did. Part of what is challenging for me is trying to understand what the basis for your healing structure is, and while I have asked several times, I don’t feel like I’ve ever gotten a straightforward or clear answer. It’s arbitrary and pops up in ways that basically become emotional mine fields that are almost impossible to maneuver through successfully. It’s why it feels like a trap. Now, it could simply be that I am not healthy enough for a relationship. It could simply be we are both not really great at the healing process or we are just learning in process. What it is not is an effort to minimize or reduce the impact that I may or may not have had on you. Again, the situation is complicated by a reality that YOU KNOW is true, and what’s crazy to me is that while I certainly deserve some degree of anger and frustration, I don’t see how we get to the place of my soul being wretched. I want to cover that piece a little bit later.
On GAOTU and Freemasons:
So, of all of the things that make most difficult to move on, this ranks pretty high. Let me start by saying, that I really tried to remember things as you presented them. I would even go so far as to say I tried to make myself remember them as you said them. I cannot. Here is the timeline on GAOTU as I recall it.
You are in Seattle and I am still in Oakland. It is after I have gotten back from the trip to Seattle and I have brought you your Dad’s Bible back. I’ve also got the numerology book and I am starting to put things together. I am standing in the room with my Mom and we are on the phone. I am angry about the possibility that Donae’s death may actually be some form of a murder. You ask me to write these letters down. I do. I ask you what they are. You say, I don’t know...I just found them on a piece of paper. At this time, we were not doing research on Freemasons like that. When I left, I took the paper down and both forgot to write letters down and I forgot what the letters actually were.
Months later, we are sitting outside on the corner. I cannot remember what the letters were and I’m thinking that they may actually be connected to sigils. I ask you if you can remember what the letters are. You say, that you can’t remember and that you will try but you will need some time. You never remember.
Through the grace of God, I stumble across the letters in my own research on Freemasons. I find them in an article, the same way that you do. The letters are referenced though not always explained. I look them up. It turns out that they are the Grand Architect of the Universe, which explains the G that is on Pete’s arms. I also learn that this is the reference for God that Freemasons use, and that for the most part, Christianity is not compatible with this God. I mention to you that I have found the letters and what they mean. You say to me, “Right, because I found those letters in my research on Freemasons IN COLLEGE.”
The conversation we had in the hotel room recently, where the story became that you found this information in your research, which does not account for any of the above situations that took place, nor what you reported in any of those situations.
Of everything in our life, this is the place most concretely, that whether you meant it to or not, your story changed. Not, this kills me. Especially when you are calling me a liar, and yet I can very clearly document the evolution of a changing story that centers around 5 simple letters that seem to be hugely central to the overall plot somehow. Of course, you can simply say that you don’t remember it that way, and I am a liar,and you and I both know that is not what happened. So what am I supposed to do with this. I don’t want this to be what happened. This is neither a justification for my behavior, but in reality it is not really connected to it either. This is, by all accounts, the best possible indication that you might have some relationship to Freemasonry that you have managed to keep hidden from me over the course of our relationship. When I add to that the first person that you chose to speak with was Jace, whose E-mail address is jace.ecaj@gmail.com, which is totally a mirror image, and the conversation was more about Saline then the entirety of the attack, I am left wondering what to make of all of this. You have to see how this section in particular could be challenging.
Again, I don’t want this. I cannot deny it either. This is, to the best of my possible recollection, what actually took place. I apologize for not taking a more clear stand the night we spoke about but seriously...who wants to believe this. In this case, if I am lying, it is not a sick game...it’s more like denial.
Now in the conversation about spirituality and Christ, this is significant, because the idea of generic God becomes extremely relevant. Let me also add here, that while I can understand doing the research and not seeing what the letters mean. Here are the google search results of looking it up just right off the bat.
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=GAOTU&start=0
You are a person who looks things up. You do research. I hope that you can see how difficult it is to understand how you would look these letters up, ask me to write them down in the middle of an intense moment, never look them up yourself, forget what they were, remember that you looked them up in college, and then remember that you looked them up later when you were doing research that I didn’t ask you do. By contrast, when I asked you to help me get a copy of the Dictionary of Demons, that never materialized. More on that later.
When you say God and the ancestors, that does not have to be the same God as the one that is referred to in the Bible. That could be any number of versions of God. In the question of the spiritual war that is taking place between God and Lucifer, that is relevant on several different accounts. Here is an image depicting that potential Illuminati pyramid that GAOTU sits on top of.
I would like to also note that it’s called the Light of Limitless nothing. I recently saw a book ni the Gnostic section of the Library called “A Light in the Dark.” This is language that you use a lot. Another thing I will get to.
Here are some articles about the relationship between Freemasonry and Christianity. As I did above, I will take some quotes out of the articles or pages that I post to give a glimpse into what is being revealed.
The Dark Secret of G.A.O.T.U.
http://voiceofthelight.com/deliverance/g-a-o-t-u/
It claims to be a universal instrument of brotherhood and benevolence; a chain of love, wisdom, and good habits which fraternize the world.
Perhaps you, dear reader, love God with all your heart, or maybe you have undergone the marvelous experience of making Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior.
Maybe you think that Masonry does not oppose the One True God and that you may practice your faith and frequently attend your Masonic Lodge without any consequence.
In this book G.A.O.T.U, the Great Architect of the Universe you will learn how Freemasonry is an overt cult to satan.
THE GREAT ARCHITECT OF THE UNIVERSE G.A.O.T.U.
http://killuminatinews.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-great-architect-of-universe-gaotu.html
In Masonry, the “Great Architect Of The Universe “, who is the Masonic God has some of the attributes of the God of the Bible, such as infinity, eternity, and omnipotence. However, the Masonic God does not have any qualities such as mercy, love, and benevolence. “Coils Masonic Encyclopedia”, Henry Coils, page 516, 517 says: "Men have decided whether they want a God like the ancient Hebrew Yahweh, a partisan tribal God, with whom they can talk and argue and from whom they can hide if necessary, or a boundless, eternal, universal undenominational, and international, divine spirit, so vastly removed from the speck called man, that he cannot be known, named, or approached. So soon as man begins to laud his God and endow him with the most perfect human attributes such as justice, mercy, beneficence, etc., the Divine Essence is depreciated and despoiled. The Masonic test (for admission) is a Supreme Being, and any qualification added is an innovation and distortion."
Here the Biblical God is being rejected as an inferior concept of God, while the universal God of Masonry is extolled. Masonry teaches also that God is unapproachable, but the Bible tells of God as being able to be approached by man, through Jesus Christ. The Masonic God is said to be “incapable of anger”, pg. 718, Morals and Dogma, Albert Pike. But the Bible tells us that God is angry at sin and also loving and merciful to those who repent.
This “Great Architect Of The Universe ” that the Freemasons worship is just like the “Universal It” or “Force” that the New Age Religion believes in. That is because the New Age Movement is just one of the many vehicles through which Satan works to bring in his evil pantheistic ideas to the people, and he is enjoying great success!
THE G.A.O.T.U. -THE GOD OF NATURE
Now let me prove to you that the God of Freemasonry is the pantheistic God of Nature. Former Mason Edmond Ronayne stated: “Freemasonry ‘carefully excludes’ the Lord Jesus Christ from the lodge and chapter, repudiates His mediatorship, rejects his atonement, denies and disowns His gospel, frowns upon his religion and his church, ignores the Holy Spirit, and sets up for itself a spiritual empire, a religious theocracy, at the head of which it places the G.A.O.T.U. -the god of nature- and from which the only living true God is expelled by resolution.” Former Mason- Edmond Ronayne, The Master’s Carpet or Masonry and Baal-Worship-Identical, pg. 87
http://www.ephesians5-11.org/gllink.htm
Do Freemasons worship Lucifer?
Over the years, some people have claimed that Freemasons worship Lucifer, or Satan. The truth of the matter is that the name Lucifer is not found in the rituals of the Blue Lodge, or the York Rite. We do not believe that Lucifer is mentioned by name in the Scottish Rite degrees, either. However, one of the "Sacred Words" in the17th Degree of the Scottish Rite is "Abaddon," the angel of the bottomless pit, mentioned in Revelation 9:11.
Worship does occur in Masonic Lodges. One of the primary purposes of Freemasonry is worship. That fact is clearly stated in the Declaration of Principles which is contained on pages 37-39 of the Indiana Monitor and Freemason's Guide. (To examine the source materials, see footnotes.) Masons worship a god which they call the Great Architect of the Universe. The symbol they have chosen to represent their god is the All Seeing Eye, which the Egyptians used to represent their pagan god, Osiris. Many Masons are well aware of the pagan connection. It is clearly stated in a number of Masonic Monitors. An example is found on page 116 of the Kentucky Monitor.
Since Freemasonry teaches a false plan of salvation, Masons are not following in the teachings of Jesus Christ. 2 John 1:9 allows us to know that since they are not following in the teachings of Jesus, they do not have God. Freemasonry is classic paganism. 1 Corinthians 10:20-21 allows us to know that the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, rather than God. Although we can say with certainty that the god of Freemasonry is a demon, we do not know specifically which demon Masons worship in lodge. We simply know that they refer to their demon as the Great Architect of the Universe, or GAOTU. All demons are under the leadership of Satan. Therefore, Freemasons cannot avoid worshiping Satan by proxy. Very few of them realize the facts in this aspect of Masonic worship. A great many Masons, even some who do not claim to be Christians, would leave the lodge immediately if the names of Satan, or Lucifer, were substituted for the GAOTU in Masonic prayers. Satan would not allow that to occur, because the more effective lie is the one which is closer to the truth, without being true. The reason that a name such as the GAOTU is chosen for the object of worship is discussed in The Men's Club, an essay on the Ex-Masons for Jesus website.
Of equal importance here is the fact that Masonry talks a great deal about mastery. When I asked you why you asked me if Mastery is important, you said because of my behavior. With this email I am also sending a booklet called “Master Mason.” For a mason, mastery is important. Period point blank. That is not about justifying my behavior in any way. That is about figuring out wth is going here.
I hope that I have provided ample and clear evidence of why the GAOTU thing is actually a thing, and that as it thing it is both related to and separate from my behavior in the relationship. I apologize again for not being more forthright about this matter. As you can imagine, this whole situation is very difficult to manage and maneuver through. And I do not claim to have done everything correctly. What I can say, is that I am not trying to play a sick game. I feel like I/we are trapped in one. This GAOTU thing did not help any.
On names, numbers and symbols
So, when you said to me that I may have been trying to throw a drama in front of a question, I had to reflect on the possibility that you referenced that tactic because you were aware of it. Or because you have used it. It is exactly what Poesia and Jed did. It seems to be something that these people do. It was it looked like was happening when I sent you the article about magic.
Another time that it happened was when I sent you the document on goddess names. Now, here are the following reasons that the Goddess even showed up for me in any of the process.
The painting that is on Kyla’s wall.
The Bible mentions Ashtoreth, Ishtar and the Queen of Heavens on Multiple Occasions.
There was a Covenant of the Goddess meeting in San Jose.
Now, when I sent you the information on the Goddess names, I will have to admit that that information could very well have been triggery. There was both the her “name” (Saline) as well as the name that I gave her (Seshat). What we did not get to though was two very significant pieces.
You once said to me, “was it something that you came up with, or something that was suggested or planted from another source.” That is not a direct quote I don’t think, but I know that it was something to that effect.
Your name is on that list.
Now, if we are dealing with magik, mystics and mastery, there is no reason not to believe that without some form of a shield, any number of things could be projected into my head. Again, not trying to deny my own accountability here, but we can agree that telepathy is real. Why would it not be possible for someone to use telepathy in a not so positive way.
Before going to deeply into this part, I want to anchor something. You said the other night that 99 percent of my analysis is probably correct. I’m not saying that I can’t be wrong here. In fact, in the texts above, I said that I COULD be wrong and that I was being honest about something because you were saying that I was claiming fight picking to avoid accountability which is not the case. However, let’s look at some of the other names involved in the equation the two letter rule, and their relationship to magik, sataism and demonology.
The two letter rule: That demonic names are hidden from the general public simply by hiding them by one or two letters. Sometimes three, but more often than not, not by more than one or two.
Seere
The Seventieth Spirit is Seere, Sear, or Seir. He is a Mighty Prince, and Powerful, under AMAYMON, King of the East. He appeareth in the Form of a Beautiful Man, riding upon a Winged Horse. His Office is to go and come; and to bring abundance of things to pass on a sudden, and to carry or recarry anything whither thou wouldest have it to go, or whence thou wouldest have it from. He can pass over the whole Earth in the twinkling of an Eye. He giveth a True relation of all sorts of Theft, and of Treasure hid, and of many other things. He is of an indifferent Good Nature, and is willing to do anything which the Exorcist desireth. He governeth 26 Legions of Spirits. And this his Seal is to be worn, etc.
https://projektseer.bandcamp.com/releases-This is one of Rahman’s group. Rahman is someone I think that we can agree is one of these people. This meets the two letter rule.
Goetia (Medieval Latin, anglicised goety /ˈɡoʊ.ᵻti/, from Greek γοητεία goēteia "sorcery") is a practice that includes theinvocation of angels or of demons, and use of the term in English largely derives from the 17th-century grimoire The Lesser Key of Solomon, which features an Ars Goetia as its first section. It contains descriptions of the evocation of seventy-two demons, famously edited by Aleister Crowley in 1904 as The Book of the Goetia of Solomon the King.
Goetia/Poesia-This meets the two letter rule.
Maia[1] (/ˈmeɪ.ə/ or /ˈmaɪ.ə/; Greek: Μαῖα; Latin: Maia), in ancient Greek religion, is one of the Pleiades and the mother of Hermes.
Jed’s partner is named Maja. Below is Maia, one of the Gods. This also meets the two letter rule.
Maia is the daughter of Atlas[2] and Pleione the Oceanid,[3] and is the oldest of the seven Pleiades.[4] They were born on Mount Cyllene in Arcadia,[5] and are sometimes called mountain nymphs, oreads; Simonides of Ceos sang of "mountain Maia" (Maiados oureias) "of the lovely black eyes."[6] Because they were daughters of Atlas, they were also called the Atlantides.
I could go on for a long period of time. And I would be able to draw out QUITE a few of these. If 99 percent of my analysis is true, and not only does your name meet the two letter rule in terms of Demonology but also in terms Psychic Ability (Dion Fortune) and in terms of Greek Goddess (Feminine form of Zeus) I mean, this is a lot right.
In addition, your windows absolutely had this symbol on them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_hieroglyphs#Logograms
I will simply say this here. Did I name myself RA? Or was it implanted. Again, I’m not trying to make accusations here. I’m asking a legitimate question about things I am just beginning to understand.
I can say a lot more about symbols, but I will stop here for now. I am also including some degree of a numerology analysis I’ve been working on for sometime. It could be wrong, and I am open to interpretation, not that you would want to have anything to do with that.
To be honest, I don’t know that I even expect you to read any of this. Nonetheless, I feel like it’s important for me to outline, document and present what my challenges are in their entirety for both of us. When you say that I’m simply trying to justify behavior, I think that we should both have the right to weigh that against what I am actually dealing with, what I have been trying to struggle past, and what I have been unable to let go of, even though I have TRIED so HARD, just like you to do so. I have stop for now. But I will finish this document a little later on today, and once it’s complete, I will simply leave you alone in the hopes that you understand that I am not crazy, I am not making excuse, I am struggling with the reality of an impossible situation.
Again, if I am mistaken, I sincerely apologize for any harm done. And I see that the best option at this time for both of us, is time and separation.
On cheating, sex and agents
So, before I begin here, because I know that it’s slippery territory, I want to emphasize that I compartmentalizing, for the sake of clarity and accountability, my free will and accountability in choosing certain things, and the separate but interconnected reality of not only the attack, but the possibility of ongoing illuminati/luciferian control in my/our lives. I would also like to note the slash, because while it has become clear to me that my life has been riddled with direct interactions with these people, it is not as clear, you have not made it as clear, and I have not found it as clear to be the case in your life.
First, let me say that there are at least two other relationships in my life who, by name alone it is not difficult to tie into this process. I will give their names along with brief explanations as to why that’s the case. I know that these are things that you might know, and I want to line them up in the course of this document so that it is clear as day what I am referring to and why, both for us, as well as anyone who might read this document at any point and for any reason.
Jansett Belovodia-Just dealing with the name...in fact...just dealing with the last name. What is Belovodia?
I got the link from here:
http://www.redicecreations.com/specialreports/2005/11nov/secreteurasia.html (Note, when you go to this link, the text is in all black and you have to scroll over it in order to read it. I don’t know if that’s an accident or a way of hiding the information out in the open.)
“In the tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, Shambhala is the hidden land in which the teachings of the Kalachakra (‘Wheel of Time') Tantric school are kept in their purest form. Roerich discovered that the Shambhala of Tibetan Buddhism is not too different from the legend of Belovodia preserved by Russian Christian mystics. An elder of the Old Believer sect confided to Roerich”
Ok, so, Belovodia is basically the Russian version of Shambala. So what is Shambala?
Shambhala or Shambala is a mythical kingdom in Tibetan Buddhism. It may also refer to:
In Tibetan Buddhist and Hindu traditions, Shambhala (Sanskrit: शम्भलः Śambhalaḥ, also spelledShambala or Shamballa or "Shambhallah"; Tibetan: བདེ་འབྱུང, Wylie: bde 'byung; Chinese: 香巴拉; pinyin:xiāngbālā) is a mythical kingdom. It is mentioned in various ancient texts, including the Kalacakra Tantra[2] and the ancient Zhangzhung texts of western Tibet. The Bon scriptures speak of a closely related land called Tagzig Olmo Lung Ring.[3]
Hindu texts such as the Vishnu Purana (4.24) mention the village Shambhala as the birthplace of Kalki, the final incarnation of Vishnu who will usher in a new Golden Age (Satya Yuga).[4]
The legends, teachings and healing practices associated with Shambhala are older than any of these organized religions. Shambhala may very well have been an indigenous belief system, an Alti-Hymalianshamanic tradition, absorbed into these other faiths. This pre-existing belief system, also called Mleccha(from Vedic Sanskrit म्लेच्छ mleccha, meaning "non-Vedic"), and the amazing abilities, wisdom and long life of these 'sun worshipers' (the Siddhi from the Vedic Sanskrit सिद्धि of the ancient 'Surya Samadhi' समाधि) is documented in both the Buddhist and Hindu texts. Whatever its historical basis, Shambhala (spelling derived from the Buddhist transliterations) gradually came to be seen as a Buddhist pure land, a fabulous kingdom whose reality is visionary or spiritual as much as physical or geographic. It was in this form that the Shambhala myth reached Western Europe and the Americas, where it influenced non-Buddhist as well as Buddhist spiritual seekers — and, to some extent, popular culture in general.
Ok. And what relationship does Belovodia or Shambala have to Hollow Earth or the Hollow Earth Theory, again...one of the places in which we had WTB. In fact, the place where we had WTB in Seattle.
Agartha (sometimes Agartta, Agharti or Agarttha) is a legendary city that is said to reside in the Earth's core. It is related to the Hollow Earth theory and is a popular subject in Esotericism. Agartha is one of the most common names cited for the society of underground dwellers.
Shamballa (also known as Shambalah or Shangri-La) is sometimes said to be its capital city.
The mythical paradise of Shamballa is known under many different names: It has been called the Forbidden Land, the Land of White Waters, the Land of Radiant Spirits, the Land of Living Fire, the Land of the Living Gods and the Land of Wonders. Hindus have known it as Aryavartha (literally : The Land or Realm of The Aryans ; the Land of the Noble/Worthy Ones") - the land from which the Vedas come; the Chinese as Hsi Tien, the Western Paradise of Hsi Wang Mu, the Royal Mother of the West; the Russian Old Believers, a nineteenth-century Christian sect, knew it as Belovodye and the Kirghiz people as Janaidar. But throughout Asia it is best known by its Sanskrit name, Shambhala, meaning 'the place of peace, of tranquillity.'
And a potential theory for what is in this hollow earth (one of many theories)
“I am more than convinced that the earth we live on is hollow, just as described in the book The Hollow Earth written by Dr. Bernard. I find ample scripture to prove this to be fact and not fiction. For example there is a bottomless pit somewhere that is closed but that will be opened when a star hits the earth. From this pit will come Abaddon with his army that have the face of a man and hair of a woman with teeth like a lion. There is also the great flood. Genesis 7 tells us the bowels of the great deep burst open AND it rained 40 days and nights. Job 38 tells us that the waters issued forth as from a mother’s womb.
From what I understand there are 2 crusts to the earth; one outside where we live and one inside where Abaddon lives. At the very center of the earth is a star that appears like our sun out here. The earth is like a basket ball with a soccer ball inside of it. Between these 2 crusts is where the lava is trapped. The spinning of the earth causes friction between the 2 crusts which helps to keep the lava from cooling completely. The earth spins at a rate of around 1000 miles per hour.
The place of the lava is where I believe hell is now. Scripture says hell will be moved at the end of the millennial reign of Christ. We are told that hell itself will be cast into the lake of fire where the false prophet and the beast are.
Hell is not the lava, it is simply in the location of the lava. Neither is hell at the center of the earth as many teach. Jesus went into the lower regions of the earth, not to the earth’s center. He was outside of hell in Abraham’s bosom, but could see hell from there location in the lower regions of the earth. Jesus preached to those in Abraham’s bosom and brought them out with him. About 500 were seen around Israel when Jesus was resurrected.”
Here is my point. I had sex with this woman for around two years. Knew or understood nothing about this. She was a GREAT person. And, she was aware of the reptilians, knew tantric sex magic, was well schooled in Gnosticism and said to me, “You have to start thinking of yourself as Neo.” In other words, here is a person that I can pretty much verify knows something about what was up, who had the appearence of being totally down for me that could very well have actually been these people, and it was in here name the whole time.
I cannot know with any real certainty at this point if she was even ever actually really into me or if she was just no assignment. Because of Beta sex slaves. She overtly admitted to having chemicals and other things done to her vagina, seeing reptilians and doing sex magic ceremony which she also referred to as “ritual” or “ceremony” and not as “magik.”
So, what is a Beta sex slave, and why does that matter?
A Beta Sex Slave is a type of Monarch. If you want to know why your staring at a butterfly for like ten minutes knida freaked me out, here’s why.
Monarch Programming is a method of hard mind control used by numerous organizations for covert purposes. It is a continuation of project MK-ULTRA, a mind-control program developed by the CIA, and tested on the military and civilians. The methods are astonishingly sadistic (its entire purpose is to traumatize the victim) and the expected results are horrifying: The creation of a mind-controlled slave who can be triggered at anytime to perform any action required by the handler. While mass media ignores this issue, over 2 million Americans have gone through the horrors of this program.
Monarch Programming is a mind-control technique comprising elements of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) and Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). It utilizes a combination of psychology, neuroscience and occult rituals to create within the slaves an alter persona that can be triggered and programmed by the handlers. Monarch slaves are used by several organizations connected with the world elite in fields such as the military, sex slavery and the entertainment industry.
Beta is referred to as “sexual” programming (slaves). This programming eliminates all learned moral convictions and stimulates the primitive instinct, devoid of inhibitions. “Cat” alters may come out at this level. Known as Kitten programming, it is the most visible kind of programming as some female celebrities, models, actresses and singers have been subjected to this kind of programming. In popular culture, clothing with feline prints often denote Kitten programming.
Beta – This is the second Greek letter, and it represents the sexual models and sexual alters that the Programmers are creating. The primitive part of the brain is involved in this type of programming. An early sexual abuse event will be used to anchor this programming. These sexual slaves will develop sexual abilities that are far beyond what the public is aware is even possible. They also receive the worst kind of abuse far beyond what most people’s imagination can picture. Beta alters generally see themselves as cats.
An additional note here is that you’re the Leo Lioness. And you have a stuffed animal. That’s a lion. Not personal, just putting out there ALL that I have to overlook to not at least consider the possibility is all. We’ll come back to the Lioness and Ra thing in a little more detail in a moment.
Bottom Line: Jansett knew about the illuminati, the reptilians, Monarch Programming, Sex slaves and magik. She knew SOMETHING about who I was and why. Like Gary (your son) she said it was “all about the genetics.” And just like the little piece of paper that I found in the box of my mom’s stuff, she was hiding the truth out in the open.
Second person
Alisia Starr...fist that is not her real name. Her real name is Alisa Shumaker. She was the sister of Joy Schumaker, who was the person that I met John through. As we all know, John is dead. Alisa, at one point, moved to Portland and changed her name. She said she was molested when she was 15, and that was by a person that she was “dating” who was 21.
This isn’t as long or elaborate. Now, I am not under the impression that she was on the team when I was young, although I could be wrong because I am under the impression that several of the people I knew were on the team. However, what I can say is that I thought the name change was kind of strange. It became even more significant with Lilith Starr being the head of the Satanic Temple of Seattle. Of course, in this world, names mean a lot, and they have numerical values. So who is lilith?
In Hebrew-language texts, the term lilith or lilit (translated as "night creatures", "night monster", "night hag", or "screech owl") first occurs in a list of animals in Isaiah 34:11, either in singular or plural form according to variations in the earliest manuscripts. In the Dead Sea Scrolls' Songs of the Sage the term first occurs in a list of monsters. In Jewish magical inscriptions on bowls and amulets from the 6th century CE onwards, Lilith is identified as a female demon and the first visual depictions appear.
In Jewish folklore, from the satirical book Alphabet of Ben Sira (ca 700–1000 CE) onwards, Lilith appears as Adam's first wife, who was created at the same time (Rosh Hashanah) and from the same dirt as Adam – compare Genesis 1:27. (This contrasts with Eve, who was created from one of Adam's ribs: Genesis 2:22) The legend developed extensively during the Middle Ages, in the tradition of Aggadic midrashim, the Zohar, and Jewish mysticism.[3] For example, in the 13th-century writings of Rabbi Isaac ben Jacob ha-Cohen, Lilith left Adam after she refused to become subservient to him and then would not return to the Garden of Eden after she had coupled with the archangel Samael.[4] The resulting Lilith legend continues to serve as source material in modern Western culture, literature, occultism, fantasy, and horror.
And the numerology of Starr in one form of Gematria equals 456. 4+5+6=15 1+5=6
Why would she change her last name so that it matches that? What’s the purpose of doing such a thing I don’t know.
Back to Saline
So, Saline didn’t want me at all. I was an assignment. Also, we know that Saline is a Goddess name, and that Saline is Salt and Water which is used in any number of spells or magik based potions. She referenced the Rose Cross, and the Nation of Islam as Well as scientology and said that she was surprised when I joined the Christian order.
Now, I checked today, and she doesn’t live where she used to anymore. She moved. She’s gone. So if she’s in the Bay, she’s not here anywhere. I still hold to the idea that Saline Chandler may not even exist. Your own background check confirmed that. Below are pictures of Saline and Nya Lee.
Seriously, all it would take is a little plastic surgery and some make up and I am fairly certain that something as well resourced as the illuminati would have the capacity to pull something like this off.
Additionally compelling is both the differences between and the relationship between them.
Search results for Nya Lee
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=nya%20lee
Summary: Hella items.
Search results for Saline Chandler:
The Forum, the PT, the San Jose Mercury News and all in the same time span at what was happening.
Who else can I be fairly certain they had on the payroll.
This chick (Meth chick) who was super mean, mexican at the time and when is she missing...Sarah was last seen on Monday, November 23.
The other two people I would show you I can’t right now because I’m doing this at the Library….but one was a chick that met no craigslist (that they clearly sent) and the other well...that’s the kicker…
She is the chick that I had when you were in Seattle, that you knew about, that you were supposed to be on the phone for, but you fell asleep and then you were mad at me but really i didn’t want to do it to begin with but I did and I have to take responsibility for that. That became a whole drama where you were super sad because you said you wanted something permanent in your life (which, the only thing I could even ever see being that is God), and here’s the BIG kicker.
I will get the picture into this document at some point somehow, just for my own records at minimum, but she has a BUTTERFLY tattoo. She’s a monarch. The chick that I did when you were in Seattle was very likely an illuminati sex slave.
Is the use of sexual blackmail in the illuminati rare...not according to this article.
"Ministers are often set up with Betas (a sexual model) who then blackmail them. The ministers do not want to lose their status and profession via scandals, so they agree to turn their children over when young to the CIA to work with. The Illuminati like to blackmail these ministers when they are finished with their Seminary schooling and committed to the ministry at about 33 years of age. The idea of having nothing to fall back on after they have committed their entire life to one profession is too much for these weak willed men, and they buckle under the threats. If they don’t buckle under, the resulting consequences will remove them from ministry." (ibid)
Often set up. Often. They have been doing this FOR YEARS. Again, if we were to place this on a Venn diagram, my free will would still bo an entire circle with the overlap being my falling for the set up. In the cases of cheating, that’s one thing. In the case of the Butterfly tattoo chick who’s movie not only disappeared off of my computer somehow (in it’s entirety) but whose image is probably also being protected in the holding of any and all of my materials, was totally a monarch and the WANTED me to know that. I didn’t even figure that out until like a week ago. Lol.
So, if three of the people I cheated with, at least two of the people I dated, and at least one of the people that we both knew about were them, that opens the door for anybody to be them at any point. The sum total of these experiences spans over 15 years. And that does not include the person that was in the slideshow that I went to highschool with. That would make it 20.
Again, this is NOT a justification of my behavior. This is asking the question and making the point, given the full scope of not only this aspect of the situation, but the entirety of everything that I have shared thus far, is believing that you are involved in this far fetched. Or even more specifically, am I not starting to turn a blind eye, maybe even being in denial if I don’t look at all of this and at least suspect the possibility that you might have something to do with this. I’m not saying you. I am saying the same thing that I said in the text. The evidence (both circumstantial and physical) starts to become overwhelming at one point. If I were not in love with you, this would have become a clear cut case by now. It is because I love you, that I can look at all of this, in the face of everything that has taken place, and hope with everything that I have that what I am looking at is not what I am looking at.
On spiritual experience, indicators and other crazy things.
So, I think we can both agree that the spiritual realm is real. We have both had experiences that confirm that in one direction or another. It’s one thing to say that the spiritual world is real. In a new agey, “there are no harmful spirits,” “spirit guides are your friends” world there is no spiritual war. Until the attack, the Bible and a relationship with the Holy Spirit, and Dictionary of Demons, along with everything that followed that, I probably would have agreed. Now, not so much. We’ve already covered the Ouji board experience. You have been seeing death your whole life. So we don’t have to debate if or if not other dimensions are real.
Here, at least for me, are the real questions:
Is there a God? And if so, is that God specific?
If that God is specific, is Yeshua the Child of that God?
On the attack, your positioning and why people not forming a relationship with you is actually an argument for and not against.
