“Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
    Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be my light.”-Micha 8:7

“15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”-Romans 7:15-20

A Life of Sin and the Savior Who Overcame It

LORD, if I am making the incorrect decision, may you intervene as needed. 

I am an addict and an alcoholic. I don’t know if I’ve ever been fully sober a full day in my adult life. Maybe one or two. 

I started with Porn at a very early age. Then alcohol and then weed. If I’m honest, these activities have been a part of my make up since at least the age of 14 years old. Over the years on various occasions, I’ve had varying degrees of success or failure over them. I have to concede that. 

I’ve been involved with at least two abortions, to my knowledge. I’ve been involved in the swinger scene and the BDSM scene and I identified as polyamorous. And that’s AFTER being saved. I’ve behaved in predatory manners, I’ve solicted sex workers, I’ve lied, cheated, stolen, betrayed. 1 Corithinans could have been written directly to me. It would absoultley apply.

I hated Christ at one point. I hated Christ, I hated Christians and I hated Christianity. I saw Christianity as invariably tied to White Supremacy. In my mind, they were the same, exact things. I was Anti-Christ in my disposition and my delivery.

I was an idol worshipper. In many ways, on some days, I still am. I worshipped Hip Hop. I worshipped knowledge. I worshipped Politics. I worshipped Football. I worshipped Sex. I worshipped Comics. I worshipped Star Wars. I worshipped Marvel. I worshipped women. I worshipped communism.

I worshipped myself. And this is still the most significant struggle I face.

And I didn’t practice the Sabbath until last week. In fact, I didn’t even pay any real attention to it even though it’s literally fourth on the list, and we’re specifically told to Remember it. The only thing we’re told to remember.

And by the Sabbath, I mean the 7th day, the one that the Lord origanlly assigned and which I don’t think any person on Earth can prove Bibically that he changed or told us to stop practicing.

And even with all of that, I am still saved. Not because of anything I’ve done, but because of what he’s done.

I just believe him. And again, not because I thought it was a good idea, but because he came and found me when I needed him most, more than once and in more than one way. He walked with me through all of this and is by me now as I write this just as he is with all of you, with all of us. He is faithful and he WILL keep his promises.

Salvation is a gift. And the LORD didn’t sacrifice himself for just the sins that you already know about. I am living proof. I am the absolute worst possible follower of Christ there could be. I mean, I am just really bad at it. I am literally smoking cigars and a vape as I write this.

I have strong reason to believe that one of the things that will play out shortly, is that as I make this message known, something or someone out there, will use my sin to cloud the issue. Some sin before I was saved, and some after. Because that is what Satan does. He’s being doing it since the garden. None of us are exceptions.

And here’s the truth. In some ways, whatever heads my way, I probably deserve it. I am a sinner. I deserve death. Additionally, I don’t think I’m a credible source. I don’t think that you should take my word for anything. Because the truth is, I am nowhere near self-controlled. I’m not going to give up all of the details, because I will leave it in the hands of the LORD who and what I confess to. But I am clear that I am not anything close to a finished product. I have no moral authority at all, and nothing I am saying on any of this website is on that basis. 

I’ve dealt with this. And the LORD has on more than one occasion, and in more than several ways, made it clear that it would be his preference that I rely on him. But I am stiff necked, stubborn and hard headed. And thus, I will probably have to suffer the consequence of my sin. I will admit what I’ve done. And I wil not take ownership of what I haven’t. Nor will I defend myself. May the LORD defend me or may I be without a defense. I will leave all outcomes in his hands.

However, the important princple for ALL of us to consider as ths process unfolds is the following:

You can choose the sin, but you cannot choose the consequences.

**This is not a salvation question. Just everything that comes before and after that.

May the LORD be my witness. I trust in him, more than anything on this earth, the one that he 100 percent created, btw. In 7 days. 

However, if those who serve satan want to validate this word by taking action, then May the LORD have mercy on us all. 

Let the dominoes fall where they may.